


temperature

by sickthoughts



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blackmail, Degradation, Dirty Talk, Drama, Humiliation, M/M, Mild Master/Slave dynamics, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mind Break, Non-Graphic Violence, PWP, Shameless Smut, and some good ole marco appreciation, i added a lil plot, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2020-12-24 17:02:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21102914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sickthoughts/pseuds/sickthoughts
Summary: Nice as a full sink of dirty dishes Eren catches straight as a circle Jean watching gay porn.





	1. numb

**Author's Note:**

> back on my bs with more erejean. I shamelessly wrote this the night before my psych midterm and finished it in my college’s library the next day ;)
> 
> this was a kinkmeme that i edited a bit to add elements i wanted. prompt: [Modern AU where Eren catches jean watching gay porn. He takes a picture and threatens to send it to mikasa unless Jean sucks his cock while he records it. Without much of a choice, Jean is forced to agree and shamefully finds that he really likes gagging on Eren's cock. The point is just really ashamed but really horny conflicted Jean.]
> 
> tw// mild dubious consent since, ya know, blackmail.

Eren felt like shit. He couldn’t quite decide whether the feeling in his body mimicked a car running over him or falling off a cliff. He concluded possibly a sick combination of both. Probably Eren  _ did  _ drink too much last night. In the moment, he had felt like a paper airplane, freshly folded and thrown into the air to soar. Now, to continue the metaphor, Eren had crashed. 

His mind was a jumbled mess of pain and  _ get up _ . His head raised groggily from the pillow it was laid against. The inner conflict that transpired so he would open his eyes was unmatched. He didn't bother. Strangely, Eren wasn’t tired so much as he was mildly hungover. Personally, Eren didn’t think he had drunk that much, all he could remember was grabbing a few bottles of beer out of Connie’s fridge. 

Okay, so he  _ might  _ have made more than one trip.

A low groan left Eren’s lips as he forced himself to get up, a cold breeze hitting him as he disconnected from the bedsheets. His eyes opened at the feeling. To his surprise, his eyes were met with darkness. More awake than he was before, Eren felt around for his phone patting the sheets around him, curious of the time. After a few seconds of groping and patting the bed, still phoneless, he stepped out of the bed to hopefully have more luck finding it on his person. With the pat to his chest, Eren realized he was shirtless. Not bothering to give the thought more attention, he patted down to the jeans that still hung loosely around his hips. Shoving his hands in the pockets, mild relief blew out his nostrils in a sigh. He pulled his phone out of his left pocket, pressing the power button. 

4:44 AM.

“Fuck..” The word fell out his Eren’s mouth before his brain had even finished processing the shock that strummed through his body. A yawn took advantage of Eren’s already open lips and ripped itself from his throat. Eren’s hand raised to scratch the back of his head, stretching in the process. He was already awake, and with the feeling of tiredness slowly leaving him, Eren knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anytime soon. 

With his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, Eren scanned the room. This obviously wasn’t his dorm. Too clean. Not that Eren was a messy person, but that was a discussion for another day. 

Memories from the night before suddenly flooded his mind. Thrown alcohol and loud music taking residence in his once empty thoughts. Marco was the only one sober and kind enough to bring Eren back to his own apartment. Mikasa and Armin didn't even bother going, encoraging Eren to do the same. But life of the party, yes-man, would rather kick rocks than do his homework Eren, couldn’t let a night of disorentation and looking like a dumbass with his friends pass him by. 

Marco. Gotta love that guy. At the thought, Eren unlocked his phone to send Marco a text of wholehearted gratitude. Marco was that guy who designated  _ himself  _ to be the designated driver because he  _ wants  _ to. His character was unmatched. 

With the text sent, Eren locked his phone and tossed it on the bed, making his way to the door of the bathroom. Lazily, he took the mouthwash he saw taking residence on the countertop and used it to ‘brush his teeth’. Eren was a clean guy, what could he say.

He took a quick piss before exiting the bedroom, phone in hand. Long given up on even attempting to find his shirt. Eren took a short walk to the living area of the apartment, feeling a little lost if he was being honest. He didn’t have a car, and Marco’s apartment wasn’t particularly close to the university dorms. A thought to call Marco to drop him off came to mind, but Eren quickly dismissed it. He was already an asshole for making Marco take care of him as much as he did. Not to mention, Marco was most likely at his pre-med, nursing, early shift shit. As Eren liked to put it. 

Nobody deserves this guy, so selfless. If Eren hadn’t had his sights on Historia, he’d date the fuck out of Marco.

Making his way to the end of the hallway Eren noticed a considerably bright light coming from the couch ahead of him. With the apartment in complete darkness, aside from the moon shining in from the living room window, it wasn’t hard to miss. Now that he thought about it, Marco did mention having a roommate to cut costs. Eren didnt blame him, especially with the apartment being the size it was. 

Eren walked closer to the couch, its back to him. As he approached, the origin of the light become apparent. A phone. Eren couldn’t quite remember who Marco claimed his roommate to be, so he refrained from acting too familiar. But with his curiosity being the main motivation, it drove him to draw closer so that the content that was being played off the phone would come into better view.

Now directly behind the couch, Eren couldn’t stop the smirk that began to grow across his lips. It was Jean. Fucking Jean, on the couch watching gay porn. Eren almost laughed out loud. The scene was comical. Jean, straight as parallel line Jean, was sitting on the couch watching gay porn at almost five in the morning. Remembering the phone in his hand, Eren quickly opened his camera app, needing to keep the scene as proof, already hearing Jean adamantly denying the accusation. He took the picture before he could stop himself, snickers leaving his lips during. 

Unfortunately, Eren had forgotten that after a full night of drinking and doing dumb college student shit, he had left his flash on. The light of the flash instantly alerting Jean of Eren’s presence. Eren cursed under his breath as it flashed. At least it caught a good angle of Jean in it as well.

Jean’s head turned to look at Eren so fast that Eren lightly thought of the whiplash he could’ve gotten. Shock and fear were painted on Jean’s features; before Eren’s face might’ve gotten into view, his face then contorting into anger and embarrassment. “The fuck Eren!?” He stood, his phone dropping to the floor, and met Eren in height, the couch separating them. 

Ripping the earbuds from his ears, Jean circled the couch to meet Eren. Possibly for physical confrontation. Eren couldn’t stop the fill of laughter that left him, first the scene itself and now Jean’s pitiful embarrassment. Eren couldn't decide which was better. 

“I should be asking you that dumbass. Who the fuck watches gay por-” 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Jean didn’t let Eren finish before he was yelling over him. Obviously embarrassed at himself for letting something this degrading happen to him, he didn’t need Eren projecting the played out scene outloud. As if experiencing it wasn't enough. Eren crumpled over, arms wrapped around his stomach as he wheezed. He couldn’t stop laughing. The force of his laugh was beginning to go straight to his head, awakening his once dormant headache. The laugh dissipated into a chuckle as he rose up to meet Jean’s gaze. Jean stood and with his fists clenched, brows furrowed and cheeks lightly shaded with pink. Pitiful.

A sigh left Jean’s lips as he unclenched his fists. “Eren, come on.. we’re not ki-”

“I’m not deleting it.” Eren’s voice came out as indifferent as his features had become. He never gave a fuck about Jean before, feelings equally reciprocated by Jean, there was no use acting like he cared now. 

“Why not? What the fuck, Eren! What’re you even gonna do with it dude?” His voice was high pitched and pleading, bordering desperate, suddenly in between a rock and a hard place.

Eren ignored him, opting to ask questions of his own.

“So, what, are you gay now?” Eren’s eyes were leveled with Jean’s, challenging him. Jean visibly jolted at the question. Eren’s lips twitched. Jean simply stared at Eren, feeling slightly helpless at the situation. He could very well spend the morning roasting Eren, showing him who should be the one jolting at the others words. 

But in the end, he’d still have the picture.

Jean’s gaze drifted down Eren’s bare chest, eyes not lingering before he looked away.

Eren’s chuckle broke the silence. His free hand slid sultry down his chest. Lean, toned, tanned skin lying underneath his hand, making a show out of what he interpreted from Jean’s actions. “What? Am. I. Turning. You. On?” Eren stepped closer to Jean with every word. Jean’s eyebrows visibly furrowed as he spoke. With each step Eren took closer to him, he took a step back, feeling wary. 

“Fuck off.” Despite the harsh tone, Jean’s voice was soft, as if he was scared to break the silence. His embarrassment was overwhelming.

A weird string in Eren’s brain was pulled as he watched Jean. He felt so powerful. All the cards were in Eren’s hands now, and whatever he chose could make or break Jean’s image. Eren couldn’t deny the tingle that thought gave him. Until now, Jean was just a nagging pain in his ass that wanted to fuck his sister. Now, it was as if he was given the opportunity to pay Jean back for all his bullshit. It was attained so suddenly. So easily. Eren almost didn’t know what to do with all this power. 

“How ‘bout I send this to Mikasa? Give her a nice, solid reason to really ghost your ass.” The words left Eren’s lips thoughtfully as he eyed his phone, the picture still displayed on the screen since it was taken. 

Seeing and hoping to seize an open opportunity while Eren wasn’t focused on him, Jean stretched an arm to grab the phone from Eren’s hands. Not that Jean should have even tried, of course. Pulling his phone back, Eren reached for Jean’s throat, gripping it forcefully. Teeth instinctively clenching, Jean’s hands immediately aborted the reach for Eren’s phone to grasp the hand around his neck.

Eren’s grip tightened as he pushed Jean against the wall behind him. Assuming his grip wasn’t tight enough to obstruct Jean’s breathing or speaking abilities, he spoke. “Didn’t like that option?” His voice hummed as he brought his face to Jean’s, eyes leveled once again. 

“How ‘bout you demonstrate what was in that video of yours?” His voice purred, bringing his lips up to Jean’s ear. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Eren’s voice was absolutely lascivious, laced with a suggestive tone and indecent promises.

“Your mouth wrapped around my cock, sucking and licking up my precum like your life depended on it.” Eren himself didn’t know where this boldness had come from. He wasn’t even sure if he even  _ wanted  _ Jean to do these things to him. Driven by the heat and authority he had in the situation, Eren wasn’t going to back down now. No, not when he’d gotten this far. 

Eren chanced a quick glance at Jean’s face. His eyes were shut. Strangled, hot huffs of breath leaving his partially opened lips. Eren licked his own, feeling suddenly dry. Eren pressed his lips against Jean’s ear this time, lips mouthing every word he whispered against his skin as he spoke again. “Answer me.” 

Jean couldn’t hold back the soft moan that left him. Everything felt so intense, he’d never seen Eren quite like this before. He’d never really thought of him this way either. Everything just felt so hot, he really didn’t know what to do with himself. His eyes cracked open slightly to catch a glimpse of Eren. He was so  _ close _ . But Jean wasn't sure if he wanted to back away. It’s not like he could if he wanted to anyway. 

Not wanting to chance letting his voice out, he nodded, looking at anything but Eren. Eren loosened his grip on Jean’s throat, raising his hand to forcefully grip Jean’s chin instead, coercing him to make eye contact with Eren. 

Eren’s eyes were dark, pointedly staring at Jean’s. Eyebrows furrowed and face indifferent, he spoke again. “Say it.” The voice was low and vehement. Apparently unwilling to tolerate any more of Jean’s disobedience. 

“Fuck..yes.” Jean’s voice was breathy, tone light like his words were drenched in obscenities. The corners of Eren’s lips grew, stretching from ear to ear easily. Turning off his phone and tossing it in the direction of the couch, he directed his full attention back to Jean. Placing a hand on either of Jean shoulders, he pushed the other down, Jean easily complying, not willing to put up too much of a fight and risk the possibility of Eren sending the picture to anyone.

“Get to in then.” With the force and pressure of Eren’s hands on his shoulders, Jean allowed gravity to play its part as his knees made hard contact with the carpet below. Jean almost wanted to put his hand on his heart by how fast it was beating. He should be disgusted right now, face to face with Eren’s crotch. But, strangely, he wasn’t. Despite wanting nothing more than to be repulsed by the whole situation. 

Jean should be mad, furious even, at the fact that Eren would push things this far. Make Jean do these things just to sate his dominance over him in the moment. Though, Jean couldn’t deny that he  _ allowed  _ it to get this far.

Jean hesitantly raised his hand to Eren’s waist, suddenly needing something to hold on to that wasn’t the floor. He wanted,  _ needed  _ some type of security, something to lean on. His shoulders felt so heavy. The pressure was tangible. 

For Jean anyway.

With the jeans already as loose as they were around Eren’s waist, Jean didn’t even bother with the zipper, opting to pulling the jeans down instead. Probably Jean should have used to zipper route after all, as an excuse to prolong the deed itself. 

When his hands gripped the waist of Eren’s jeans, Jean, for this first time, could see himself visibly trembling. He really didn’t want to do this. Everything in his gut, mind, and soul were against every part of this. He didn’t want to see himself like this, brought down to this pathetic level. Pitiful.

Pride already out the window and lust coming in from the rear, Jean made up his mind. He was straight anyway, it's not like he had anything to worry about. The situation would come and go, not a memory left in its place. Eren was only doing this to get back at him. Once the anger subsided, everything would go back to normal. 

Verdict reached, Jean brought his face to Eren’s brief covered crotch. He couldn’t help feeling a little lost. Obviously, this wasn’t something he had done before. Video suddenly replaying in his mind, Jean shut his eyes hoping to dismiss the thought. The action only allowing the memory to play on a much larger screen. Ragged breaths began to leave his lips, nostrils suddenly too cramped to withstand the hot, lustful air. Before Jean could stop himself, he began to imagine himself in the pornstars position, sucking Eren off. As if he were compelled, Jean found himself nosing Eren’s half-hard cock. 

Surprisingly, Eren had been considerably patient up to this point, allowing Jean time to collect his bearings before fulfilling his command.

Jean found himself burying his face into Eren’s crotch, taking in all his bodily smells in one inhale. Despite the slight sweat and strong Eren smell that resided there, he felt a heat rising from his gut. He couldn't quite figure out what about Eren made him so horny. His smell was so earthy, almost a little minty. Jean wasn't sure. He just wanted more. What of, he wasn’t sure. His tongue fell out of his mouth as he began to trace the outline of Eren’s cock through his briefs with the muscle. 

The sound of Eren’s slight heavy breathing urged Jean on. Taking both his hands once again, he gripped the waistband of Eren’s briefs, pulling them down forcefully. He wanted him.

Jean wanted him. 

“So hasty.” Eren’s voice came out deep and sultry, a mocking undertone entwined with it. Jean took a quick glance up to Eren, not wanting to make him feel more powerful than he already was. Eren’s cheeks were dusted a light pink, shoulder length hair surrounding his face as his neck was slightly bent to look down at Jean. 

Sexy. That was the first word that came to Jean’s mind as he found himself staring up at Eren. Patience finally lost, Eren’s brows faintly furrowed. Eren rose a hand to the back of Jean’s head, gripping the remnants of his undercut and bits of his hair; forcing Jean’s face into his crotch. 

“Get to it.” Eren reiterated, his vehement voice was back. Despite the murderous intent mixed in with it, Jean couldn’t help that the sound went straight to his cock. Rather than struggle, Jean didn't move, save for his tongue leading a long stripe up Eren’s dick from the base. Jean wasn't sure what he expected cock to taste like, he never expected to ever taste it at all. But the salty flavor came as a shock. It wasn't the most revolting thing he’s ever tasted. 

It was the atmosphere that pushed Jean. It began as a soft push, one that allowed Jean to not be disgusted by Eren’s cock and more interested in the other flavors and tastes it had the potential to give. When he felt Eren’s grip ease from the back of his head, Jean focused his attention on Eren’s cock head. He didn’t know exactly what about it made him want to put it in his mouth so bad, but he had no reason to deny it.

With another long, wet stripe from base to tip, Jean sucked the head into his mouth. A hiss could be heard from above, but Jean ignored it, finding more interest in the cock in his mouth. Jean didn't realize when the distinction occurred. When he was originally repulsed by the idea, to now, unable to find a reason to not keep Eren’s cock in his mouth.

A soft moan left his lips as he gradually bobbed his head, taking in more of Eren’s cock. Jean breathed harshly through his nose, eyes fluttering shut. He wanted to go further. He didn't know what was driving him, motivating him to do these things, but he couldn't stop. A small part of him didn't want to.

Taking an unoccupied hand, Jean gripped the base of Eren’s cock. He wrapped his tongue sleazily around it, keeping his teeth as nonexistent as possible. 

Jean’s moans reverberated around Eren’s cock as his head began to bob faster, sucking harder. It was a strange tingle sensation that enveloped Jean when Eren’s cock had accident hit the back of his throat. The burning sensation and urge to gag easily put on the backburner as Jean yearned for the sensation once more. 

“Look at you, happily choking on my cock.” A smirk was plastered across Eren’s face. Eren had definitely had better blowjobs than this in his life, but there was something about the fact that it was Jean on his knees, stuffing his cock down his throat that made his heart race. A long moan came in response to Eren, spurring him on. 

“Bet you just can't wait for me to cum, just so you can drink it like the cumslut you are.” Eren’s eyes were piercing, waiting for Jean to look up and make eye contact. Quick huffs of breath began to leave Eren as Jean sucked his cock more intensely. Eren’s unused hand raked up some hair that hand begun sticking to his forehead. With the hand that still rested behind Jean’s head, Eren gripped the hair there once again before forcing Jean to take his whole length in one go, unannounced. 

Eren watched as Jean’s eyes widened in shock, choking audible to anyone in earshot. Eren’s smirk widened as his head flew back, sensation overtaking him. Jean’s throat was so hot, so  _ tight _ . Eren almost couldn't breath with the overwhelming feeling engulfed around his cock. A high pitched, unhinged curse escaped him without permission, but he couldn't even pay it any mind as he looked back at Jean. 

Jean’s eyes were red, overflowing with tears as his nose nuzzled Eren’s crotch. Eren could feel the short hot breaths huffing out Jean’s nose against his pubes. Eren ignored the tickle sensation, opting to focus on the more important things in life. Jean’s complexion almost looked pink, intense blush across his cheeks. 

It was strange, Eren thought. Jean had never struggled when he forced his cock down Jean’s throat. Eren could feel his eyebrow quirking up at the thought. Holding a firm grip on Jean’s hair, Eren experimentally motioned his hips, languidly thrusting into Jean’s mouth.

There was that sensation again. It was almost electric by the way it traveled through Jean’s body and landing straight to his cock. Jean could feel his grip around Eren’s waist getting tighter. The unexpected thrust forced the muscles in his throat to constrict, causing him to gag. Instinctively pushing his head back to free his throat from it’s intense discomfort, he looked up to meet Eren’s eyes, pleading. The tears that managed to hold in Jean’s eyes up to this point began to flow down his cheeks, leaving a hot, liquid trail behind, marking his cheeks. 

Eren peered down at Jean, unimpressed. He allowed Jean to ease off his cock to about the head, not allowing him to go any further.

After a beat of watching Jean swallow and groan around the head of cock with tears in his eyes, adjusting his mouth around Eren, he gripped Jean’s hair again, as if alerting him.

“I know you’re a cockslut Jean, you’d die happily with my cock down your throat if you could.” It wasn’t a question. Eren’s voice was deep and rough sounding, as if he’d just run a marathon. Jean whimpered at the sound, distantly wishing it was closer to his ear. 

A tightness and intense feeling of restriction overtook Jean. He had entirely forgotten about his own arousal up to this point. Taking the hand wrapped around the base of Eren’s cock, Jean brought it down to the waist of his sweatpants. Pulling down both it and his underwear roughly, he wrapped his hand around his shaft, shamelessly pumping his hand around his own cock.

Desperation. Pure, unadulterated desperation filled his whole being. Jean wanted to cum, he wanted to cum just like this. With Eren’s cock lodged down his throat, tight grip in his hair, hand on his own cock. Just like this. 

A needy moan left him, unable to bear the feeling rising up his gut. Abruptly, Eren began to fuck his mouth again, more aggressively than the last time, urgency now apparent in his features. Jean stiffened at Eren’s sudden movements, unable to keep pace with the force in his mouth and the hand on his cock. Hand now turning fervent with heat and delirium. 

Jean had grown relatively accustomed to Eren’s form in his throat at this point, offhandedly finding himself pushing further onto Eren’s cock. Jean’s head was a jumbled mess of arousal. He desperately wanted to cum, but couldn't help but anticipate what was to come. He could just imagine the feeling of Eren’s hot release on his tongue, he wanted it. He desperately wanted to feel it, and he didn’t know why. 

With the force of Eren’s thrusts, Jean couldn’t do much besides sit back and let it happen being as powerless as he was. He tightened his grip on Eren’s waist, relaxing the muscles in his throat as much as he could, suddenly wanting Eren to take full advantage of him and whatever he had to offer, whatever he was willing to give him. Wanton moans spilled from in between his lips as they were wrapped around Eren’s cock. He wanted to be good for him.

Eren, overcome by the sensations racking through the lower half of his body, was gradually becoming weak. His legs were beginning to feel like jelly under the weight of his upper half. Remembering the wall in front of him, Eren leaned forward, resting his left forearm against the wall, pressing his head onto it. He was close. So, so close, he could feel it. His hand in Jean’s hair roughly fisted, pulling the hairs excruciatingly from Jean’s scalp. A shrill shriek and furrowed brows followed, not that Eren could see anyway with his eyes tightly closed, his own brows furrowed as he insistently motioned his hips. 

“Fuck.” Was the only warning Eren gave before spurts of cum were injected onto Jean’s tongue and down his throat. The feeling going straight to his own cock as his release overtook him, spurts landing on the floor between Eren’s legs. The muscles in his stomach clenched fiercely, forcing a long groan to escape him, sounds bleeding out between the cock in his mouth. 

With Eren’s forceful thrusting now at a cease, Jean was finally free to bob his head slowly around Eren’s cock, focus particularly on the head. He swallowed the salty but nonetheless tasteless cum in his mouth. He sucked persistently, greedily emptying Eren’s body of all the cum it had. The warm feeling it left on Jean’s tongue made him shiver. 

The air around them had grown heavy with the smell of Eren’s release mixed with his own. Jean could feel his head spinning despite not feeling the dizziness that usually accompanied the sensation. It was like an out-of-body experience, he felt disconnected from his physical body. Only drive being found in the cock in his mouth.

Eren sighed in an attempt to even his breath, now in the afterglow of his release. He could feel the muscles that had stiffened begin to relax. 

The feeling of overstimulation struck him painfully, eyes shooting open. Eren peered down at Jean, his eyes shut as he continued to suck on Eren’s cock, despite his release. Undeterred by the pain, Eren allowed a smirk to replace the relief in his features. With a huff, he spoke. “We get it, you’re a cock hungry slut. Get off me.” His tone was light, more likely due to how uneven his breathing still was. 

But Jean couldn’t stop himself, the bitter flavor in his mouth only spurred him on. He wanted it all, everything Eren had to offer, he wanted it. Effectively ignoring the voice above him, Jean began to bob his head in earnest, eager for more of Eren’s cum. He wanted him to get hard again. He wanted his stiff cock down his throat again. He rolled his tongue around Eren’s now soft dick, hoping to ignite his arousal once again. He didn't know what this was, what the ache in his gut was. 

Eren’s eyebrows knitted, forming creases in his forehead as he glared down at Jean. The overstimulation was growing to a stinging ache. Annoyed, Eren gripped the back of Jean’s head once again, pulling him forcefully off his dick. Face painted with disgust and irritation, Eren held his glare with Jean. 

Feeling rather disoriented, Jean didn't even feel the force of Eren’s action, mind only kicking back in when his back made painful contact with the wall behind him. He innocently looked up at Eren, more confused than anything. 

Irritation morphing to exhaustion, Eren pulled his pants back up, stuffing his soft cock back into his briefs. Turning away from Jean, he briskly made his way back to Marco’s room, opening the first drawer he saw. He pulled out a shirt and quickly put it on before walking back to the couch and snatching his phone from the seat it had landed on when he had thrown it earlier. Turning his attention back to Jean, a scowl formed on his face before he could stop it. “You’re fucking sick.” His tone was even, sound deeper than he expected it to be.

Not bothering to give Jean another glance, Eren slipped his shoes on before walking out the door, slamming it behind him.

To say Jean was in shock was the least. He hadn't exactly registered the events, much less how one thing lead to another. To put it simply, he was at a loss. 

With whatever had possessed him now slowly leaving his body, reality took its place. Sick. Fucking sick. Eren called him fucking sick. Dormant anger flew up in Jean’s gut. If anyone was fucking sick, it was Eren. The guy who made him do those..  _ Things _ . It was all Eren’s fault to begin with, everything that had unfolded up to this point was his fault. Yet he was the one who got to walk away.  _ He  _ was the one who got to slam the door. Jean’s fists clenched. A smaller part of him wanted to cry or scream. Whichever would let out what was inside him quicker. 

He opted for clenching his eyes shut. His knees bent as his arms wrapped around them, hugging them and laying his head down between them. His mind felt numbed. If he had ever felt lost before, it couldn't match how he felt in that moment. Pushing his head further into his bent knees, he stuffed his spent cock back into his pants, hands then wandering through his hair in obvious exhaustion. 

What the fuck was going on.


	2. confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, i just want to thank all the beautiful people who left kudos and comments. you guys just don’t understand how much it meant to me to read those uplifting messages. i tend to take (long) breaks from writing so i don’t exhaust my brain and write garbage, so thank you for your support and patience! you’re all absolutely amazing, thank you so much for reading my fics! also, I hope everyone is staying safe during the pandemic and if you’re out protesting!

Glossy, unfocused eyes stared blankly at the board before him. A pair of heavy hands interlocked atop the desk he sat slouched under. Trailing up to his face, one would be met with indifference, an expression almost bordering dejection.

Jean couldn't deny his melancholy state. The events that had transpired only hours earlier had begun to haunt him like a bad dream. Every blink recreating an image of the acts he voluntarily took part in. It was becoming more and more difficult to come to terms with the fact that it had even occurred. Jean felt as though he had hit a new low in his young adult life. He was too young to be having such deep-rooted regrets. 

He hadn’t seen Eren since.

After picking his pitiful ass off the floor, Jean took a shower that ultimately involved zero cleaning despite the constant jet of hot water he had stood under for about an hour. 

What Marco didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. 

Jean couldn’t remember the last time he had taken something to heart quite as intensely as he was. Yes, it was a given that he had been in situations where he had been hurt and taken a while to come to terms with it, but his current predicament, however, was almost traumatizing in nature. 

Jean blinked once, then twice before his mind finally refocused with reality. With a glance at the face of the desk in front of him, he located his phone and unlocked it to view the time. 

1:44PM.

The psychology class that he definitely could have skipped with the limited amount of time he had taken paying attention, was nearing its end. Of course, he hadn’t taken any notes. With the thought in mind, a heavy sigh fell out his now half-open lips as his head fell back in exasperation. He didn't quite know what to be more annoyed with: his current self or his past self. 

Taking one of his now unfolded hands, he slid it down his face in hopes of waking himself up for the remaining part of the class. It was the beginning of spring and he had no right not paying attention in class when midterms were so close. Taking up the pen that had been left abandoned beside his blank, open notebook, Jean began writing the notes that were left on the board.

* * *

After weaving and maneuvering through crowds that occupied the halls outside his now concluded class, Jean began his miserable walk to the campus convenience store in a mild attempt to get some sort of nutrients in his body for the day. 

He hadn’t even thought about eating up until that point, his focus obviously found elsewhere. It was becoming difficult to focus on anything other than Eren really. The guy never left Jean’s mind. Jean began to hate the limited control he had on his mind, on his thoughts. He hated that with every step, his head turned from one side to another, eyes searching frantically for the familiar figure of the great, green-eyed wonder. 

Why was he searching? A question Jean himself could not answer. 

If they made contact, what would he even say? He wasn't even sure if he was ready to see Eren, to truly come to terms with the reality of him sucking his dick. Ugh, it already sounded this bad in his mind, the effect it would have on him if it was spoken publicly could possibly kill him.

Jean pulled his beige hoodie over his head, slightly hoping the action would cover his mind to put an end to all the thoughts just as the hood covered his head. He distantly wondered if he looked as bad as he felt, as he didn't put much thought or effort into his appearance today as he usually did. 

With a sigh and roll of eyes, Jean entered the mini-market beelining to the sushi section. Taking two cases of California rolls, Jean walked stiffly toward the register. 

He had entered in such a hurry, he hadn’t even realized there was a lengthy line for the cash-out. With another sigh, he pulled out his phone opting to find a distraction before it was his turn. 

A weird creak sound came out from the direction of the entrance, a sound Jean possibly hadn’t registered when he had walked through only moments earlier. Obnoxious laughter immediately filled the market, dragging everyone’s attention to the source of the sound. Everyone besides Jean.

“I deadass don’t even remember that night, I might have cashed the fuck out.” Jean picked up on the familiarity of the voice instantly. It was Connie. When Jean thought about it, he usually did end up meeting Connie at the market around this time as their classes ended concurrently. 

“You always cash the fuck out, asshole.” A chuckling voice followed in response, the sound causing Jean’s heart to skip a beat. He wasn't ready. He wasn't mentally prepared for this sudden contact. Jean tightened the grip he had around his phone, allowing what little pride he had at that moment to force himself to look. 

He immediately regretted it.

Jean looked up only to meet eyes with Eren, who apparently accompanied Connie to the market this time. An enlarged swelling of discomfort filled Jean’s gut. He could feel his palms sweating, and goosebumps beginning to form on his arms and back. He wasn't ready. Out of all the ways he expected himself to react Jean had never imagined it would go down quite like this. 

Despite the fact that he did avoid imagining it in the first place, that being beside the point. 

Jean couldn't ignore the immense state of discomfort he was in, though what remained left of his self-esteem allowed him to keep his eyes locked on Eren’s, refusing to look away first. Jean wasn't scared of Eren, he was just a green-eyed freak and that’s how he’d stay. In Jean’s eyes anyway. Though, the fact that Eren did possess the picture of him watching porn, gay porn at that, scared him. To a certain extent. Though, was it truly fear?

Jean couldn't find a motive in anything Eren did, nothing made sense no matter how much he thought it through. Was he just trying to get under Jean’s skin? Looking for someone to exercise his superiority over? Revenge?  _ Possibly all of the above _ , Jean thought loosely.

Nothing made sense.

The more Jean thought about it, the more irritated he became. As his eyebrows began to furrow, a slight smirk began to grow on Eren’s face, almost challenging Jean to do something. A glint of exasperation flashed in Jean’s eyes before he pocketed his phone and tossed the cases of sushi to the floor. Never breaking eye-contact, Jean stomped his way over to where Connie and Eren stood. A confused Connie gazed at Jean questioningly, but Jean didn't bother looking in his direction. As soon as Jean was in close proximity to Eren, he fisted Eren’s collar pulling him towards himself, now only inches apart.

With Eren’s smirk now in full view, veins in Jean’s forehead and neck began to protrude as anger flooded his mind, disallowing him from forming any words. A piercing glare is all he was capable of giving Eren at the moment, the glare expressing every emotion he had felt at that moment. Most of which, he couldn’t name. There were so many things he wanted to say, yell, and possibly scream, but he couldn’t. And Eren knew he couldn’t. Fuck. 

Somehow, Eren was always two steps ahead.

Connie was probably saying something and mildly attempting to tear the two of them apart, but Jean couldn't hear or see him. All Jean saw was Eren. 

Besides that flashy, shit-eating smirk Eren wore, being this close allowed Jean to take note of the muscles in Eren’s temples, tensing as if he were clenching his teeth. As he leveled his eyes back with Eren’s he was met with slightly furrowed brows, possibly twitching seeing that the moment Jean blinked, they were nowhere to be seen. 

Was Eren... upset?

Eren followed Jean’s eyes keenly, watching them move from one side of his face to the other, analyzing him. With a mischievous glint in his eye, Eren first licked his bottom lip agonizingly slow, intent obvious with every subtle movement of his tongue. Jean’s focused eyes laid trained on Eren’s lips as they now glistened with a new coat of Eren’s saliva. Strangely, Jean found himself tantalized by Eren’s actions, mind now empty of its previous thoughts. 

Last night Jean had never really taken notice to Eren’s lips, but with their close proximity, it was almost impossible to ignore. Impossible to ignore their plumpness and pink hue. They weren’t particularly thick or thin, just a perfect in-between. Jean couldn’t stop himself from gazing, bordering yearning. The desire to feel Eren’s lips against his gradually began to possess his mind. How did he even get here? Wasn't he supposed to be mad at this guy? He couldn’t remember.

Looking up from his lips, Jean was able to take in Eren’s full appearance. Taking note of the messy bun sitting atop Eren’s head. Jean didn’t know what it was about that bun, but it just completed Eren’s look, like a roof on a house. Or clouds in the sky. Or pillows on a bed. You get the point.

Eren was just so… sexy. The only word Jean could think of. There was a strange ache beginning to grow in his gut, it was almost familiar, similar to a deja vu feeling. He had been in a situation like this before and felt the same way. The longer he absentmindedly gazed at Eren, the more the ache grew, enhancing his desire. 

After a moment or two of muted communication, mainly one-sidedly on Jean’s part, Jean watched as Eren gradually raised his arms in a shrugging motion before speaking. “Somethin’ you wanna say, Jean?” His tone was playful, vocals dancing around every syllable as he spoke. The feeling akin to being broken from a spell of some sort overwhelmed Jean. He blinked in an attempt to do away with the sensation of something similar to blindness in his eyes. What the fuck was that? His thoughts were forced to unscramble themselves as Jean tried to refocus himself to the situation he was in. More than confusion, Jean found himself in mild shock unable to place where exactly those thoughts had come from and why they had appeared in the first place.

Eren’s voice didn't mirror the apparent annoyance he had shown only minutes earlier. No matter how hard he tried, Jean couldn't read Eren, or himself for that matter. It was so difficult to interpret what he was thinking. Nothing he did or said made sense, the thought instantly readjusting Jean’s thoughts and awakening his momentarily dormant irritation. 

Jean almost wanted to cry with how angry he was becoming and how there was ultimately nothing he could do about it. He had no power in this scenario, in this dynamic. He had to simply allow himself to be manipulated. Jean found himself clenching his teeth unconsciously, closing his eyes with as much force to possibly tear the muscle.

Jean refused. 

He wasn't going to allow Eren to bring him to this point, he was better than this. He wasn't going to allow his anger, his confusion, his  _ misplaced thoughts _ to dictate his actions. 

Not anymore. 

If he could help it.

With all the strength in his arm, Jean pushed Eren away, Eren stumbling back with his trusty smirk still trained on his countenance, before walking towards the door and leaving the market. A sudden urge to yell filled him as he wasn’t able to extinguish his anger the way he usually had in the past. Jean raised a hand to his face, covering his eyes before allowing the yell to tear through his lips. 

“Fuck!” The echo continued for a little more than a second, the sound allowing Jean’s mind to empty once again in hopes of separating itself from the situation at hand. After a deep breath, Jean uncovered his hand and began to walk to his next class. After all, it was the beginning of spring and he had no right not going to class when midterms were so close.

* * * *

It was a good ten minute walk from the market to his public speaking class. Though, for the first time in the semester, Jean appreciated the silent walk. He entered the building calmly, thinking lightly of any homework he might have missed for the class. Dismissing the thought and deciding to take whatever possible repercussions head-on, he walked down the hallway lecture hall finally in view. Hopefully Jean wasn't too late, as he did take a bit longer at the market than he intended. He felt his pocket for his phone to check the time, remembering having pocketing it only minutes earlier. 

Confusion immediately filled him as the pocket laid empty, conformed to the soft curves of his body. Stopping in his tracks, he began hastily patting his other pockets only to feel more soft curves instead of the hard plastic of his phone case. Mild panic filled Jean as thoughts of him possibly dropping it or someone having pick-pocketed it permeated his mind. 

Suddenly, Jean’s senses began to shift violently. Confusion not entirely able to set in due to unexpected manhandling his body was enduring. Jean watched as the world around him moved in high speed, objects deforming as he zoomed past them despite the feeling as though he, himself, was moving in slow motion. He could distantly feel the pressure of a hand on his shoulder, but with his body in the state that it was, the sense was hard to place. Jean had only realized he was no longer in the hallway due to the sharp pain he felt as the back of his head slammed into the wall behind it. The walls in a hallway had a flatter surface, making a bodily impact against them nowhere near as painful as to what he was tolerating. Darkness engulfed his vision due to the reflexes of the impact, forcing his eyes to shut unconsciously. 

A slight ring began to resound, bouncing from one side of his head to the other as if unable to find a way out. Jean’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to piece together the series of events that unfolded in the past few moments. Though the pain in his head was the only thing he could focus on.

“Were you looking for this?” 

Jean’s eyes flew open to meet Eren’s, only to be met with that unsettling smirk yet once more. Jean’s teeth clenched again. It wasn't something he was looking forward to getting used to. At that moment, Eren’s words registered in his mind and he trailed his eyes to meet what Eren was holding.

His phone.

When had Eren even taken it? Jean was sure he had it before his confrontation with Eren at the market. Didn't he? There was no possible way for Eren to have snatched it from him during their contact, he would have most definitely felt it. Jean hated this, being around Eren made him doubt himself, his actions, his thoughts. Things he should be sure about. Jean really didn't like this.

Rather than allowing Jean to take his phone for himself, Eren simply slipped it back into his own pocket. The shock Jean was currently experiencing from the situation gave Eren an advantage, as Jean had no longer taken attention to what Eren did with his phone.

“It’s comforting to know you’re not the pussy I thought you were Jean.” Eren’s words were sly as he spoke. Jean was not entirely able to pick up any sarcasm, but also unwilling to take the compliment if it was one. Jean hesitantly looked up at Eren, eyes questioning, almost searching for interpretation. Eren responded.

But not in the way Jean expected.

A textbook smile formed suddenly on Eren’s lips, Jean having to interpret it as genuine as Eren’s eyes crinkled in agreement. Before Jean could find an intelligent way to respond, the shooting pain and intense pressure from Eren’s fist connecting with his left cheek closed all developing thoughts.

Eren chuckled darkly as he watched Jean writhe in the pain he instilled. Jean’s hand instinctively rose to cover the now pulsating impact left from the punch. “You had some fuckall nerve to pull that shit you did earlier.” The tone of his voice began to take a colder quality, vocals gliding through clenched teeth. Eren’s face contorted to a detached look, with an expression of indifference.

Partly recovered, Jean attempted to take a swing back at Eren, fully wanting him to experience the pain he had endured moments earlier. As Jean looked up, however, he found himself face to face with a picture of himself at the crackass of dawn, on the living room couch he shared with Marco, watching gay porn. An image he had been painfully trying to put behind him. An image that should have never existed in the first place, was now right before his eyes, undeniable in its existence. 

Jean could feel his eyebrows twitching through multiple emotions, not entirely sure which one to express. It was an obvious taunt on Eren’s part, but was Jean going to succumb to it? 

Did he have a choice? 

At that moment, Jean just wanted to crawl into a ball and make a mess out of his uncombed hair.

He took a chance and glanced up to meet eyes with Eren, shocked as he was met with indifference. “Why can’t you just fuck off? I’m fucking sick, remember?” Jean spoke in a harsh whisper, tone wavering, shaking from both exhaustion and mental fatigue.

“Who would’ve thought you’d be this affected by the shit I say. Were you going through Mikasa just to get to me this whole time?” Eren’s words fell playfully off his lips, watching Jean carefully through his indifferent  façade . 

Jean’s face blanched, irritation finding its way back to his countenance. Of course, that wasn't true… right? He was never gay to begin with and fuck whoever thought he’d want to try anything with Eren, of all people. This was Eren trying to get into his head again, planting seeds and watching them sprout by his own violation. Jean wasn't going to play his game and fall into his little traps. He knew himself. 

On the other hand, what had possessed him to watch the porn in the first place? Curiosity, right? Why did it seem as if there was another element to it than that?

“You were never worried that much about the picture going around, you were worried about what I thought of you.” Eren’s voice began to take on a condescending tone, speaking matter-of-factly. Talking down to Jean as if he were a parent talking to his child.

Jean could feel his mind beginning to unscramble again. Everything Eren was saying seemed to have an element of truth to it despite what Jean knew to be true. 

A part of Jean wanted to yell, to tell Eren that he was talking entirely out of his ass. But he couldn't. There was no willpower, no confidence or certainty behind those words; and no matter how much he wanted to let them out, the words remained in his throat, lodged in his larynx.

Eren took a single step closer to Jean, entirely closing the distance between the two of them. He leaned his head into Jean’s ear only slightly before opening his mouth to speak in a whisper. “Wanna know what I think?” Eren eyed Jean with a sidelong look, observing him as Jean stared back at Eren dubiously.

“You’ve always wanted to suck dick.” Eren sounded out each syllable with emphasis and exaggeration as he whispered in Jean’s ear. Jean’s eyebrows instantly knit, eyes shooting to meet Eren’s. Before he could respond, however, Eren spoke again. 

“It started out as an urge right? Now it’s all you think about.” Eren drawled, pausing after speaking for effect, knowing exactly how Jean would react.

Jean’s eyebrows slowly began to unknit as the gears in his mind were set in motion. Eren wasn't too far from the truth as it  _ was  _ the initial thought that drove Jean to watch the gay porn to begin with. But as far as it being all he thinks about, all Jean could really think about was Eren if he was being honest. Not that that made Jean feel remotely better.

“You should thank me. I gave you an open, judgment-free space to indulge yourself.” Jean could hear the smirk in Eren’s voice. Eren was obviously enjoying this, enjoying playing with Jean’s mind and dictating his actions. He loved this.

A strange stillness that followed Eren’s words increased the pressure between them. Eren stepped back, taking Jean’s face into view once again. Jean stared questioningly at Eren, responding to the atmosphere that Eren had created.  Eren instead sent a pointed stare at Jean, features cold and eyebrows cleanly knit.

To Jean’s pleasant surprise, his mind almost instantly connected the dots that created an understanding of what Eren wanted him to do. Even so, Jean’s face morphed into a hesitant expression, biting his lip and looking away from Eren in the process. He refused to feed into Eren’s will, with what tenacity he had left in his own right.

The pressure of Eren’s stare, despite Jean not looking at him directly, was thick enough to penetrate the tension that had previously taken residence in the room. Jean could feel his palms sweating again, the back of his neck beginning to itch as a very slight tickle sensation began to develop there. 

Jean didn't know exactly when the power shift had entirely left his side, if the growing anxiety in his gut was anything to go by. The sudden dread he felt in Eren’s presence appeared to be almost disciplinary, like a switch Eren was able to turn on and off at will. He was in complete control over Jean and Eren knew it. Jean was sure.

Leveling eyes with Eren once again, Jean spoke. “... Thank you.” The dull ache from Jean’s cheek where Eren had punched him only minutes earlier had ground more pronounced with each syllable he mouthed. Jean’s voice was small as the words fell off his lips, easily mistaken as a whisper. Though a whisper would probably sound louder in comparison. 

Eren’s dissatisfaction with Jean’s response was evident in his features. He  relaxed his face nonchalantly in disapproval, eyes still pointing daggers in Jean’s direction. It scared Jean how dejected he initially felt by Eren’s disappointment, the pit in his gut enlarging easily. 

Exasperation and minuscule annoyance filled Jean simultaneously. Jean hadn’t even done anything wrong, he danced right into Eren’s hands and not even that was good enough for him. The motivation from not wanting to have to do the action over once more willed Jean to make another attempt, with his eyes tightly shut and eyebrows furrowed. 

“Thank you.” He repeats, nonetheless through clenched teeth. When Jean looks up, he’s met with a beaming smirk from Eren. Lips and eyes in enthusiastic agreement as Eren observed Jean. While Jean couldn’t place why, the sight placed significant ease on his anxiety.

Jean followed Eren with his eyes as he went to go sit on the toilet not too far from where they were standing. It was at that instance that Jean had realized the setting both he and Eren were in. Jean took the opportunity to examine his environment while Eren was momentarily preoccupied. Apparently, Eren had pushed him into one of the single-stall bathrooms for the disabled, due to its wide interior and excessive space. 

The thought left as soon as it appeared, however, as Jean had not found any real significance to entertaining it. It didn't take long for Jean’s eyes to find its way back to Eren’s form. It was as if Jean was unable to look away for too long, due to Eren’s unpredictability. 

Eren sat calmly on the toilet slouching slightly, possibly in an attempt to find a comfortable sitting position. Eren’s back angled against the tank of the toilet, legs lazily spread as he gazed thoughtfully at Jean. Eren’s stare mutely added additional pressure to the current situation by seemingly allowing Jean to make the last call. 

Leave or stay. If Eren’s demeanor could speak, it would scream the words. But the decision only gave Jean’s anxiety another reason to linger. Jean felt bewildered, suddenly feeling caught between a rock and a hard place; a very hard place. Eren had never allowed leniency to this extent before. What changed?

The precariousness of the set of circumstances Jean found himself in left a profound feeling of hesitancy in every action he made, and every thought he entertained.

Jean found himself gazing at Eren’s relaxed form, eyes innocently drawn to his crotch. While it wasn't something he was entirely open to admitting, it was an area of Eren’s body he was  _ very  _ acquainted with. Memories of the night before saturated his mind almost instantly; the earthy, almost minty smell assaulting his nostrils, the heavy, yet comfortable feeling of Eren’s cock on his tongue, the hand on the back of his head, gripping tightly to the strands of Jean’s hair, roughly pulling and pushing at will. The salty yet flavorless taste of Eren’s very warm cum on his tongue, then down his throat. 

Every detail, every feeling, every  _ desire _ , overwhelming Jean.

Jean was arousing himself and he didn't even realize it. A dark chuckle could be heard coming from Eren’s direction. Eyes still cloudy from the effect of his explicit thoughts, Jean simply fixed his gaze up to Eren. Not bothering to meet eyes with Jean, Eren kept his eyes on the object of his entertainment. Jean followed them, bending his neck to look down his own form. He was met with the sight of his own erection, pressing against the restriction of his sweatpants.

If Jean was capable of being embarrassed in that moment, he would have desperately looked to find a hole he could put himself in. Instead, he shut his eyelids tightly, suddenly sure of himself and his future decisions. As Jean opened his eyes to look up at Eren, he found him patiently seated, watching Jean expectantly. Implications obvious in his now blank expression.

Jean found himself walking slowly towards Eren, officially succumbed to him. Each step acting as a further descent into absolute hell. Eren puts a hand up in the air, however, stopping Jean in his tracks as Eren’s open palm faced his direction. The hand then morphed into only the back of Eren’s hand being visible, index finger pointing to the ground. A confused Jean followed the finger to the floor, hoping to find the answers he was looking for there.

“Crawl.” Eren’s voice came out as a growl despite the obvious smirk plastered over his lips. 

Jean could feel the heat in his gut returning just from the sound of Eren’s voice. The power and authority it emitted forced his knees to buckle, legs growing gradually weak as Jean transitioned his body to a squatting position. Pride officially nowhere to be found and raw desire in complete control of his frontal lobes, Jean pushed his body forward into a kneeling posture. Hands coming out instinctively to catch his purposeful forward fall. Without a second thought, Jean was crawling languidly towards Eren’s seated form.

Jean intentionally hung his head low, not wanting to make eye contact with Eren while in this rather pitiful state, despite the fact that it was Eren who placed him in that state. 

Now at Eren’s feet, as the distance between them was rather short to begin with, Jean plopped into a sitting position on the floor. Finally deciding to look up, Jean was met with beaming emerald eyes, it was the first thing his eyes had laid on. With Eren’s full face coming into focus, a cynical smile mirrored Jean’s rather apprehensive expression. 

“You’re so fucking easy.” Eren’s voice had a gravelly texture to it, taking obvious pleasure in the sight before him. A slight frown could be found on Jean’s face in response. That was obviously not a compliment, but Eren sure made it sound like it was. 

Being as close as he was to Eren’s crotch, a minty aroma began to permeate the air, filling Jean’s nostrils almost instantly. The scent was akin to a drug, putting Jean under hypnosis of some kind. He was unable to make sensical thoughts, mind-numbing suddenly. Jean sat up to his knees, hands finding purchase on Eren’s thighs. He wanted to taste him again. He wanted to feel the sensations again.

Nothing was stopping him now.

Eren watched Jean silently, determined not to interrupt Jean’s actions. Instead, taking more interest in observing just how far Jean was willing to fall.

Jean’s hand slid impatiently towards Eren’s crotch, stopping once they reached the zipper. Before Jean could unbuckle Eren’s jeans, however, Eren’s hips lifted as he slid something out his front pocket. 

It was Jean’s phone. 

Jean eyed Eren’s movements closely, focus now interrupted by his muted inquisition of Eren’s actions. Eren swiped the screen, unlocking the phone and opening the camera. Okay, so probably Jean needed to invest some time into increasing the security on his phone. Selecting the video option, Eren pressed record. A sly smirk plastered across his features. 

After a beat of Jean’s stillness with his own camera trained on him, Eren angled his head to the side, making stern eye contact with Jean. “Did I tell you to stop?” There was the mind-numbing tone again. Jean promptly continued where he had left off, previous thoughts vanishing from his mind. Jean unbuckled Eren’s jeans with ease, now face to face with his briefs. 

Jean eyed Eren’s soft cock, even in the state that it was, it held a respectable size. Jean released a hot huff of air he didn't realize he was holding. He could feel the fear of crossing the line and the wanton desire sloshing around in his gut, making for a very uncomfortable combination. The pressure of the camera on him and knowledge of Eren behind it pushing for him to continue, sent shocks of unease, in addition to something similar to excitement, throughout his body. 

Forcing himself to ignore his apprehension, Jean dug his hand into Eren’s briefs pulling his soft cock out of its confines. Jean made a tentative stripe along Eren’s cock from base to tip with his tongue. He could feel his eyes dilate as the salty taste assaulted his taste buds. Jean’s desire gradually began to overshadow his fear.

Taking it a step further, Jean took Eren’s whole cock into his mouth, sucking eagerly and allowing his tongue spiral around the head. Eren’s hip twitched at this, giving Jean all the more reason to bob his head slowly as he felt Eren’s cock begin to swell in length. 

Jean chanced a glance up at Eren, only to find his eyes shut and eyebrows knit, apparently engulfed in the sensations he felt. Heated breaths leaving his partially parted lips. To Jean’s surprise, Eren was still capable of holding the camera in his direction, despite being rather occupied. 

Jean just couldn't figure out what about Eren made him so horny, made the pit of his gut churn with lust. He could feel himself keen under Eren’s scrutiny, despite not being literally watched by Eren. He wanted to be good for him. He wanted to make him hard.

With particular focus on the head of Eren’s cock, Jean sucked harshly. Offhandedly hoping Eren would cum at that moment, longing for the hot, salty flavor on his tongue. A slightly pained, yet breathy ‘Fuck’ could be heard from above. Jean couldn’t stop the groan from leaving his throat, reverberating around Eren’s cock in response. 

An invisible force pushed Jean to go further, enthusiastically bobbing his head, taking as much of Eren’s length as he could. In his stupor, Jean almost didn't register the hand that found its way to the back of his head, forcing Jean to meet Eren’s hips as he thrusted his cock languidly down Jean’s throat. 

Despite the choking sensation that engulfed Jean’s senses, a shock of pleasure writhed through his body, ending at his own cock. Jean suddenly felt weak, eyes fluttering shut. He didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted so much more but didn't know what of. Desperate for that sensation once more, Jean attempted to swallow Eren’s whole length. Taking inch by inch in hopes of not triggering his gag reflex. 

Jean was in no way an expert on dick sucking, that much being obvious from Eren’s point of view. There was no pressure or technique to Jean’s actions like there had been prior, instantly making the experience rather dull and uninteresting. Eren observed Jean critically through the camera, watching as he simply pushed Eren’s length back and forth past his lips in search of something he couldn't quite grasp.

“Stop.” Eren’s voice was firm, but an octave lower than usual as he spoke. The sound stopping Jean in his tracks, mild anxiety filling him once again. Memories of the night before flashed in his mind, leaving a bitter trace in its wake. Jean leaned back to sit on his ass obediently, determined not to be treated and thrown away like he had last time.

Patience lost, Eren’s eyebrows twitched slightly as he opened his mouth to speak. “Is that what you call a blowjob?” He said rather coldly, eying Jean with disdain and disappointment. Eren couldn't deny that the expectations he set for Jean were a bit high, a bit too high apparently. Jean met his eyes with confusion, but more so dejection as he obviously displeased Eren. Not to mention, he was unable to experience the  _ sensation  _ of his own violation.

Shifting his attention back to Jean’s phone, Eren stopped the recording before trailing his gaze back to Jean. “Take off your pants.” Jean blinked at the command, not fully capable of registering what Eren could possibly be implying. Misplaced anticipation filled Jean as he simply stared back at Eren. If this was them taking another step, Jean wasn't sure he was ready. He… he wasn't gay.

Eren’s gaze didn't waver, in fact, it only seemed to get firmer the longer Jean leveled eyes with him. He was serious. Eren was serious, but Jean didn't know what to do, he was fearful of getting to the point of no return. He wasn't ready.

Suddenly, there was a heavy and rather painful pressure in his stomach. It wasn't enough force to cause the bile in his stomach to see the light of day, but it was enough for gravity to betray him, landing him on his back. Looking up, Jean realized Eren had kicked him in his stomach, with not nearly as much force as he could have.

“Take. Off. Your. Pants.” The volume of Eren’s voice raised with every word, the cold tone still very alive. Deciding that taking off his pants wasn't the end of the world, Jean lifted his hips and slid his sweatpants down to his ankles and off one leg leaving it dangling around the other, leaving no room for Eren to complain. Jean sat up to an angle, leaning against his forearms as he looked to Eren expectantly.

“Suck on two fingers and get ‘em real wet for me.” Despite the consistent cold tone, Eren’s voice dripped with a sultry quality, giving Jean the slightest of hints to where this was going. He could feel his heart rate increasing, light excitement taking permanent residence of his once uneasy attitude. 

If Eren was telling him to do it, it must feel good… right?

Jean sat up then, making sure to keep his eyes leveled with Eren’s, took his index and middle fingers into his mouth. He licked them lightly at first, unsure of himself and what he was doing. But he soon began to imagine his fingers as Eren’s cock, lapping them down feverishly with his tongue, sucking on them whilst drooling to keep them wet. 

Eren’s face had relaxed to his classic smirk, regarding Jean silently as he did exactly what Eren had asked without question. Verbally, anyway.

“Fuck yourself.” Jean watched Eren for a second or two, taking a moment to make sure what he had heard wasn't an insult of some kind. But Eren’s eyes dropped to Jean’s lower half, Jean’s eyes following, now facing his briefs. Suddenly, the command clicked and a rush of heat rose to Jean’s head. He was going to fuck himself, with his fingers, in front of Eren. 

The thought sent a twitch to his half hard dick. 

With a glance back up to Eren’s form, Jean began tugging at his briefs lifting his hips up once again to slide them off with ease. Jean felt so exposed, he was sure Eren had never seen this much of him before, as a matter of fact, no guy has ever seen this much of Jean before. A flush of embarrassment dusted the tips of Jean’s ears and his cheeks.

Suddenly remembering how fast saliva evaporates, Jean brought his fingers to his mouth to quickly rewet them before hesitantly bringing them to his asshole. This was something Jean had never done, never thought of doing once before. He’ll admit that he  _ may  _ have watched a video or two of it to get a rough understanding, but that was as far as that went.

Jean leaned so his back was touching the ground, feeling the stretch better at that angle. He tentatively pressed his index finger in his ass, not entirely prepared for the discomfort he felt. Not allowing that to deter him, Jean pressed further into his hot flesh, a slight burning sensation following. His sphincter was tight around his finger, making it a lot harder than it seemed in the porn videos. He pulled his finger out slowly, attempting to thrust it back in. 

Jean began slowly breathing out his mouth in small huffs to calm his body down and possibly ease the muscles in his ass. Jean continued with his small and shallow thrusts, feeling his body slowly conforming and getting used to the once foreign object entering him. Before long, Jean added his middle finger, venturing to thrusting deeper with the second finger added.

He pushed his middle finger in slowly, before taking them both and thrusting rather hard at a random angled spot. Jean could almost feel something similar to a sore or swelling of some sort inside him. Interest now piqued, Jean took his next thrust and angled it at that spot with more than a little force. As his fingers made rough contact with the mass, Jean’s hips instinctively lifted, a voiceless cry leaving his now gaping lips. Jean could see sparks of light behind his eyes, suddenly unable to handle whatever was racking through his body. 

Ragged breaths fell off Jean’s lips as his eyes searched to meet Eren’s, suddenly in need of something tangible to keep his soul from separating from its body. “Oh fuck…” Jean hadn’t even realized he had said anything till he watched Eren snort from where he sat, lazily stroking his cock as he watched Jean writhe on the floor. 

Watching Eren with half-lidded eyes, Jean kept thrusting his fingers in his ass, keening for that spot. The sensation was almost as addicting as Eren’s cock hitting that place at the back of his throat. Jean wanted it. He wanted it so bad. 

He angled his fingers again, sure he had found the right spot and thrusted again. Jean couldn't stop the high-pitched moan that left him. He could feel a puddle begin to form on his stomach, eyes following to find precum gushing out of his curved, hard cock. Jean distantly wished he could give it a few good wanks, but couldn't find the willpower to both fuck himself and give himself a handjob. He opted for fucking himself. Jean made sure that every thrust he made was angled at that spot, as he was now addicted to the feeling it gave him. 

“I bet you’d rather it be my dick than your fingers huh?” Eren’s voice was breathy, bordering debauched as he spoke. His words came out thick, yet firm and unwavering. Jean moaned at the sound, unable to withhold it. Jean couldn't keep himself from imagining it, Eren’s cock in his ass, thrusting roughly in and out of him hitting that spot better than his finger ever could.

Jean nodded his head frantically in response, image now solidifying in his mind. His desire was causing his ass to ache for it, fingers suddenly not enough. But Jean continued fucking himself with his fingers, vision becoming blurry with tears and throat drying from the moans.

“Say it.” There was Eren’s dominant voice again, he could almost cum from the sound alone. Dazed, Jean complied easily. “I.. I want your cock.” Jean’s voice came out as a breathy moan, unable to tear his eyes away from Eren’s. He groaned, a chuckle following after. Eren bit his lip as the speed of the hand on his cock increased, gazing down at Jean, unable to look away from the sight before him.

Jean, helplessly laid on his back, fucking himself with his fingers oogling up at Eren yearningly. It was priceless, and to top it all off, it was all instigated by Eren. He couldn't help but feel prideful at the thought. 

Eren could feel his balls beginning to tighten with a strong urge to cum. It was more the situation than the scene that excited him, and Jean gave him more than enough content than he could ask for. Eren stood up and walked over to Jean, cock in one hand, Jean’s phone in the other. Eren didn't stop until he was directly above Jean’s head, angled perfectly to Eren’s dick. 

Jean looked up at Eren, particularly eying his cock. Growing more aroused by the sight of the protruding veins that ran along his length, and white precum dripping onto him.

Eren continued to fist his erection, feeling himself so close to the edge he could almost taste it. Soft moans began spilling out of Eren’s mouth, not entirely able to contain them any longer. 

“Here’s your reward, cumslut.” Eren declared, sounding more than a little gravelly as he pumped his cock with more vigor. Small whines squeezing past his lips as Eren grew closer and closer to release. 

Jean’s fingers in his ass stilled, sitting up to meet Eren’s cock, distantly assuming that Eren had wanted him to drink his cum. Jean couldn't deny his anticipation for the hot, viscous feeling on his tongue, in fact, he longed for it. With more than one eye on Eren’s features, it wasn't hard to tell when he was about to cum. Jean’s mouth opened under the head of Eren’s cock, tongue lolling out, hoping for most of his release to land there.

Before Eren had the chance to give warning, he could feel his muscles tensing as long spurts of cum painted Jean’s face. The view was obscene, while Jean did have his mouth open, most of the cum landed all over him. 

Jean’s eyes closed instinctively as something akin to a warm shower rested on his face. He closed his mouth, swallowing the creamy, partial load of cum that melted on his tongue. The warmth of it trailing down his throat went straight to his cock. The feeling tore a groan from Jean’s lips, not entirely able to handle the scene before him. “Hng… oh fuck.” The words dropped from Jean’s lips as the hand from his ass trailed up to his cock, pumping it feverishly. He was so, so close. 

Taking the chance, Jean opened his eyes to the camera of his phone in his face yet again. The sight only pushing him closer to the edge, with the thought of Eren watching him intently through the screen. With another pump, Jean began to unravel, goosebumps forming on his back and neck, sweat perspiring on his forehead. A long moan ripped from his lips, stripes of thick cum landing on his exposed stomach. Jean couldn't remember the last time he had ever cum so hard, the way it racked through his body left him limp and weak. Jean laid back against the floor to bask in the afterglow of his release. 

“Not only are you a cumslut, but a cockslut as well. Who would’ve thought.” Eren said, chuckling after. His tone was almost patronizing in the way he spoke down to Jean. Jean, however, was more focused on evening his breathing and calming his body than the way Eren spoke. 

Feeling as though he had all the footage he needed, Eren sent the videos to his number, only slightly surprised to find that Jean had Eren’s number saved to his phone despite never having given it to him himself. A smirk cracked on his face, tossing the phone to the ground beside Jean’s heaving body. It had a case, it’d be alright.

After stuffing his spent cock in his briefs and adjusting his clothing, Eren squatted down between Jean’s spread legs, curiosity suddenly filling him. Taking a scoop of the cum that laid on Jean’s bare stomach with his fingers, shirt and hoodie slightly ridden up his torso, Eren brought it to Jean’s entrance. The exposed hole just begging to be filled once again. 

Before Jean’s body could react to Eren’s contact, Eren thrusted his fingers inside, watching Jean’s face closely for a specific reaction. Jean’s back arched at the sensation, the feeling being the furthest from what he ever expected, still in the process of recovery. Jean took a sharp intake of breath, sudden burning filling his ass. “W… wa-” Eren didn't give Jean an opportunity to finish his request before he was plunging into him again with his fingers, angle changing with every thrust. 

Jean tried to look down at Eren in an attempt to possibly place his reasoning behind why he was fucking him with his finger so suddenly, but the force of Eren’s thrust prevented Jean from doing much besides writhe on his back. 

“Where is it?” Eren’s tone was demanding, bordering annoyed as he spoke. Jean’s mind wasn't capable of processing what was going on, much less possibly finding an answer to Eren’s question. Eren’s fingers began to act as a piston, thrusting relentlessly in his ass waiting expectantly for Jean’s answer. 

Before Jean could respond, however, a loud, high-pitched moan left his lips abruptly, hips lifting only slightly off the ground. His mouth remained open as he sat up to look at Eren, who only smirked sinisterly. “Found it.” Eren’s voice mirrored his smirk as Eren thrusted ruthlessly at that spot.

Jean was in a state of euphoria, enticingly sweet electricity coursing through him. Violent shivers racked his body, haggard breaths leaving his lips as soft mewls coupled with them. Jean reached an arm down to his crotch, hoping to grasp the hand that was fucking into him, unable to handle the overstimulation. But by the time Jean looked up, the fingers in his ass were gone, Eren motioning to get up. 

A confused Jean regarded Eren with a frown, panting as he sat himself up entirely. Eren, not bothering to meet eyes with Jean, glanced in the mirror to check himself before leaving the bathroom. Jean stared blankly at the closed door, consciousness in a scrambled stupor. 

Jean stood up slowly, reality becoming fiercely unwelcoming. He pulled his briefs and sweatpants back on, feeling exponentially detached from actuality. Jean sat down on the toilet seat, hands meeting his face in despondency. He felt numb, as if his body had developed full paralysis.

Again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is so LONG im a big sucker for plots im soRRY (;

**Author's Note:**

> ill probably just keep adding to this to feed my deep-rooted obsession with these two together + porn.
> 
> hmu! soeuriv.tumblr.com


End file.
